suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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