Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
how does that bad decision feel?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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