It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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