just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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