Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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