She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
