wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
