I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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