i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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