i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
