a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
