Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
