Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
