Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
