What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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