i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
