therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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