the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
