If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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