Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
