I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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