Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
