My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
