At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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