Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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