pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The adults are the big ones right?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
