And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
