The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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