All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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