You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
