i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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