Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
