Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the day after is always just damage control
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
