Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
