yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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