why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Fuck appropriateness.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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