This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
