maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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