We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
