YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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