someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
