The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
