We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
