I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Randomize
