just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
