Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
