Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I need mimosas to revive my soul
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
