there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
