If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We're too hungover to prance.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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