Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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