Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
